Chemo - Number 8

This session was a bit tough (nausea, weakness, etc.).  I can't understand it, because they had to lessen the dosage a little because my red and white blood cell count was low. The doctor said everything else looked okay.  I finally felt like a person again around last Friday, but very weak.  I am just now writing this because my hands are truly bothering me.  It's tough to do normal things. My throat is still a pain - it's really getting hard to swallow and eat certain things.  So, lately the food choice has been - is it too tough to swallow, not is it what I want.

Thank you so much for the prayers! I really feel everyone of them!!  I would ask if you would specifically pray for my throat (swallowing), and my hands - that I would be able to use them. Also, please pray hard that my blood counts have gone up and I can have the chemo on next Tuesday, Aug. 9.  If they are too low, I can't have chemo and will have to wait another week for them to go up.  I want to get this over with, not wait.  I am so very blessed, this whole thing could be so much worse, I have witnessed how bad it can get.  You all are so wonderful to keep praying me on in this journey, and I am so grateful to each one of you!!

"If you have surrendered yourself to Christ, your present circumstances that seem to be pressing so hard against you are the perfect tool in the Father's hand to chisel you into shape for eternity.  So trust Him and never push away the instrument He is using, or you will miss the result of His work in your life."~Streams in the Desert

Strange and difficult indeed

We may find it,

But the blessing that we need

Is behind it.

The school of suffering graduates exceptional scholars.~L.B. Cowman

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Chemo - Part 7

Number seven is a bit monumental.  I am now over halfway done!  Over the hump!  On the downhill side! Only five more to go!  You get the idea. 
This treatment was a little tougher.  Each one gets a little tougher than the last one, just like I was told.  They did say it got rid of "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly".  The nurses are so awesome, and they try new things each time to ward off the nausea. I was still nauseated, just not as much. I got to go to the church softball game that night, so that was a praise! 
I have a request.  I could not be making it through all of this without your prayers!  Please keep praying for my mouth and throat.  It is very difficult to swallow.  My hands still have the neuropathy and keep cramping up. These side effects don't get better until I get the pump out, so usually on Friday they start to lessen. 
I realized this week just how blessed I am!  So many of my friends and acquaintances are having horrible problems with chemo.  I have problems, but nothing compared to theirs!  I know the Father is bringing me through this for a greater blessing! Again, I would really appreciate prayer specifically for my throat, because I want to continue to sing in our church praise team and choir and glorify Him.  That is the one thing I keep praying for, that I will continue to be able to stand up and praise the Father through song!
Psalm 73:23-26 "Yet I still belong to You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire You more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever." What great comfort we have in knowing God is holding our hand through it all. All else can fail us, but God is our strength forever.

Chemo #6 - Halfway Point!

Last Tuesday, June 28, was the halfway point!  I was not able to jump up and down, so I was doing it on the inside!  :)  I saw the doctor, and everything looked good, except I'm still losing all my iron, even after taking more.  He told me chemo takes all the iron your body has, and then some.  I thought it was funny, because when he walked in to the room, he commented, "I thought you looked a little anemic standing up there singing last Sunday morning."  I'm so thankful to know people are looking out for me!  So, I'm working on iron supplementing.  The chemo went well.  The nurse began the nausea medication even earlier than last time, and I didn't get nauseated until late that night.  I was even able to go watch the church softball team play that evening!  Praise! Of course, the pump came out on Thursday, and that always helps the nausea a bit. 
My throat is getting worse, just as they said.  It's hard to swallow, and my mouth keeps alternating between being too dry, and having too much mucus. (Sorry if that's too much information.)  My hands are becoming more and more sensitive to cold.  They cramp, sting and ache.  My feet sometimes react to cold, also. The nausea continues, as always.  Once again, I would never want any of you to think I am complaining. I could be so much worse. It's just that I had no idea what chemo patients went through, and I feel it would help you to know what is involved, and also how to pray.  I know this journey has been such a learning time for me as I have seen others go through chemo.  I praise the Father for each new day.  Thank you for praying for me!

"Don't wait for God to answer your prayers. The purpose of prayer is not to get answers, but to get to know God! Every answer to prayer will be followed by other requests. We think: “If this or that would just happen, then I’d be fulfilled.” Yet, even miracles will leave you dissatisfied if you don’t turn your attention back to God. It’s a great seduction! I fell into it for years. Only one out of the ten lepers Jesus healed came back to thank Him. (Luke 17:17–18) Nine out of ten never looked back. Don't obsess over what you don’t have; rejoice in every morsel God provides, and more will come. He’s a loving Father who promises to give us everything we need."
Francis Anfuso

Chemo Continues - Part Five

Last Tuesday's treatment was mostly routine.  The chemo began and ended well.  This time, they started a stronger nausea medicine in the IV before they finished the chemo and put the pump in.  That medication really helped me to not be as nauseated as in the past!  Praise!  I am now struggling with the hand neuropathy.  I tried to make my own turkey sandwich a few minutes ago, but had to have help because it was cold.  I'm learning to use the gloves every time I get in the fridge, not just sometimes like I used to. (They're garden gloves that a sweet friend gave me who has been through this.) My legs cramped quite a bit this time.  I have now developed a metallic taste in my mouth.  I have been warned and expected all of these side effects, it's just one more thing to adjust to!  All this could be so much worse.  I truly praise the Father for sustaining me through this journey.  You know this was FIVE down, and SEVEN to go!  I'm almost halfway there! 

"God has a divine purpose for every challenge that comes into our lives. Trials test our character and help shape our faith."

"He only is my Rock and my Salvation; He is my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be moved." - Psalm 62:6

Chemo - Part Four

This session was not as "nauseating" as the third one.  When I explained to the doctor how the third chemo treatment had gone, he gave me a very powerful nausea medication.  I really don't remember the day I was at the cancer center or the day after.  I was totally out!  That was good in a lot of ways - no pain, I just slept through everything!  It really was better to be sleeping than vomiting.  Each time my throat takes a little longer to feel "normal" again.  Swallowing is an experience!  The neuropathy in my hands has gotten worse - now when I accidentally touch anything cold, it's like a shock or a sting...very strange.  I have to put gloves on if I want to get in the fridge.  I want you to understand that I am not complaining about any of this.  I am writing this so you can understand and know how to pray.  I could be SO much worse!!  I am thankful to the Father for all He has done, and all I am learning on this journey!  I am one third of the way through!!

"I do not know your trials or your frustrations, beloved. I can't know what might be troubling you or making you anxious. But God knows those things. What you don't understand, what you feel unable to cope with can be overcome moment by moment if you will live by faith and walk in communion with Him. When you do so, you'll find yourself able to declare with Habbakkuk, "The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places. Habakkuk 3:19. When you doubt, when iniquity abounds, when you want to question God, there are two things you need to do. First, run immediately into the ever-open arms of your omnipotent, sovereign Father. In faith, fling yourself into all that He is, into all that He has said. Do not attempt to handle life in your own strength. Instead, live by faith.
Second, rejoice in Him. In a sense, rejoicing activates your faith. When you fling yourself in faith into all that God is and into all His Word says, when you rejoice in Him in the face of every circumstance, then you'll know His strength. It's a strength that will enable you to walk with hinds' feet of faith on high places. Hinds' feet do not slip.
So exult in the Lord, beloved. Rejoice in the God of your salvation. Remember, He is able to deliver you from and through--any difficulty of life. He will be your strength and give you hinds' feet on high places.
Father, You are my strength, the One in whom I trust. Direct my footsteps today. Keep me from slipping or stumbling. Help me to live by faith as I walk in sweet fellowship with You. In Jesus Name, Amen."
Kay Arthur

Chemo - Part Three

I apologize that it's taken me a while to write something.  I've been a little busy being nauseated.  Well, I think they lied!! I'm sure they didn't mean to lie when they said the side effects are worse than the nausea.  I'm sure that's true with other people.  Just not me - just not after the third treatment.  You know that feeling when you're REALLY sick and you've already vomited all there is in your stomach, then your stomach can't get the message to your throat that there's nothing left....well, you get the picture. I don't want to make you have to run to the bathroom.  :)  That was my world for six days straight after chemo part three.  This week has been better, I have been able to eat.  I don't care for the fact I'm getting weaker.  I can't carry my granddaughter around.  That's a bummer.  Thankfully, I can still sit and hold her.  But I am truly blessed.  I have such caring, loving family and friends around me.  Most of all, I have their prayers lifting me up daily.  I absolutely could not do without that!!  Tomorrow will be the fourth chemo treatment, then I will be one third of the way through this journey!!  Yay!!  That will be four down and eight to go!!  I can do this!!

Chemo - Part Deux

SIDE EFFECTS!?!  I'll get to that in a minute.  This chemo/visit went very smooth.  I waited a short while before the blood test to make sure I could take the chemo.  Again, as I sat there, I was struck by the words swirling around me - terminal, inoperable, a dad on the phone with his son telling him the cancer had returned, all such sad words.  I just prayed for those people.  Then they called me back to talk with the doctor.  He said my blood work looked good, so we could proceed.  Then he made a statement, "The side effects of this regimen are considerably more and will probably bother you more than the nausea."  Okay, I was ready - all prayed up and had a ton of people praying for me!  I was then called back to the chemo area.  The nurses there are so precious and caring!  I got all settled into my "nest" with my books and phone, I even watched TV for awhile.  When I took out the Build-a-bear Braedyn and Baecca made for me, the nurse loved it and had to show all the other nurses.  When you squeeze his paw, it's Braedyn's voice recorded saying, "I love you, Nana!"  It goes with me to every treatment.  Everything went well, and it took about 3 hours.  Then they put the pump in for the second medication for me to wear home for 2 days.  I was fine for about 2 hours.  Then the side effects hit!  My legs began to feel like they were covered with bugs.  You know when your legs go to sleep and that tingling when they wake up?  It was like that magnified 10 times!  Then it spread to all my body below the waist and my hands!  This comes and goes, but after a rough night of pain in my legs, I still can't sit up in a chair without my legs tingling!  The worst part is when I swallow.  My esophagus is hurting and making it feel like I'm swallowing sand and grit!  He said these side effects would go away after about two days.  I'm so thankful it's only these kinds of side effects!  They could be so much worse!!  Thank you for thoughts and prayers! I'm blessed!!