Last Chemo Treatment!!

I truly can't believe this time has come!  When I began this journey in March, September 20 seemed SO far away! This treatment was, of course, worse than the last.  I had trouble with nausea, my hands, my feet and my throat.  Everything is a little better, but my feet and hands are still numb.  I thought typing this would help exercise my hands and make them feel better.  It really hasn't helped.  :(  
I really feel better each day and thank the Father for his grace and love.  I thought it was wonderful when my doctor told me that I had tolerated this chemo better than any other patient he had. That was such a blessing!   I knew it was because of all of you loving prayer warriors!
‎"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments." - Deuteronomy 7:9

Chemo - Next to last treatment!!

This treatment went better than the last!  They gave me a nausea pill before the treatment even began, then I took two in the next two days.  It helped the nausea, but it was still pretty bad.  It took until today for the nausea to die down.  The biggest thing now is the numbness of my hands and feet. My hands are a little better, but my feet are still numb up to the middle of my calf. It's still very difficult to swallow, too. I was warned these side effects could happen, and I know so well it could be SO much worse!   I am so very thankful for how the Father is continually bringing me through this and growing me in Him!
  
Thank you for all the prayers, calls, cards, food, etc.!!  Each one has been such a blessing.


Ephesians 2:10 God has made us what we are, and in our union with Christ Jesus he has created us for a life of good deeds, which he has already prepared for us to do. (GNT)

Chemo - Number 10

All right, let's hear a cheer!  Only TWO more to go!  I went in last Tuesday, some blood counts were up, and no problems with starting the chemo.  The session seemed the same as always, and then right after they finished the chemo and put the pump in the vomiting began.  Nausea was very bad this time.  My throat is still giving me problems, it was a lot worse this time, hands still bothering me.  They told me from now on, it would get worse, and it did!  But, I always look around at that Cancer Center and realize I am blessed and I could have it so much worse!  So thankful for all your prayers!!  

Psalm 62:1-2 says "My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation.  He only is my ROCK and my salvation, my STRONGHOLD ; I shall not be greatly shaken."

Chemo - Number 9 (August 9)

Sorry this is so late, I haven't been able to get internet lately.  This session wasn't too bad.  Counts were still low, but they went ahead and gave me the chemo.  I had barely any nausea or throat problems, the Father knew I needed a break.  

Thank you so much for all the prayers!!

Chemo - Number 8

This session was a bit tough (nausea, weakness, etc.).  I can't understand it, because they had to lessen the dosage a little because my red and white blood cell count was low. The doctor said everything else looked okay.  I finally felt like a person again around last Friday, but very weak.  I am just now writing this because my hands are truly bothering me.  It's tough to do normal things. My throat is still a pain - it's really getting hard to swallow and eat certain things.  So, lately the food choice has been - is it too tough to swallow, not is it what I want.

Thank you so much for the prayers! I really feel everyone of them!!  I would ask if you would specifically pray for my throat (swallowing), and my hands - that I would be able to use them. Also, please pray hard that my blood counts have gone up and I can have the chemo on next Tuesday, Aug. 9.  If they are too low, I can't have chemo and will have to wait another week for them to go up.  I want to get this over with, not wait.  I am so very blessed, this whole thing could be so much worse, I have witnessed how bad it can get.  You all are so wonderful to keep praying me on in this journey, and I am so grateful to each one of you!!

"If you have surrendered yourself to Christ, your present circumstances that seem to be pressing so hard against you are the perfect tool in the Father's hand to chisel you into shape for eternity.  So trust Him and never push away the instrument He is using, or you will miss the result of His work in your life."~Streams in the Desert

Strange and difficult indeed

We may find it,

But the blessing that we need

Is behind it.

The school of suffering graduates exceptional scholars.~L.B. Cowman

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Chemo - Part 7

Number seven is a bit monumental.  I am now over halfway done!  Over the hump!  On the downhill side! Only five more to go!  You get the idea. 
This treatment was a little tougher.  Each one gets a little tougher than the last one, just like I was told.  They did say it got rid of "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly".  The nurses are so awesome, and they try new things each time to ward off the nausea. I was still nauseated, just not as much. I got to go to the church softball game that night, so that was a praise! 
I have a request.  I could not be making it through all of this without your prayers!  Please keep praying for my mouth and throat.  It is very difficult to swallow.  My hands still have the neuropathy and keep cramping up. These side effects don't get better until I get the pump out, so usually on Friday they start to lessen. 
I realized this week just how blessed I am!  So many of my friends and acquaintances are having horrible problems with chemo.  I have problems, but nothing compared to theirs!  I know the Father is bringing me through this for a greater blessing! Again, I would really appreciate prayer specifically for my throat, because I want to continue to sing in our church praise team and choir and glorify Him.  That is the one thing I keep praying for, that I will continue to be able to stand up and praise the Father through song!
Psalm 73:23-26 "Yet I still belong to You; You hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire You more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever." What great comfort we have in knowing God is holding our hand through it all. All else can fail us, but God is our strength forever.

Chemo #6 - Halfway Point!

Last Tuesday, June 28, was the halfway point!  I was not able to jump up and down, so I was doing it on the inside!  :)  I saw the doctor, and everything looked good, except I'm still losing all my iron, even after taking more.  He told me chemo takes all the iron your body has, and then some.  I thought it was funny, because when he walked in to the room, he commented, "I thought you looked a little anemic standing up there singing last Sunday morning."  I'm so thankful to know people are looking out for me!  So, I'm working on iron supplementing.  The chemo went well.  The nurse began the nausea medication even earlier than last time, and I didn't get nauseated until late that night.  I was even able to go watch the church softball team play that evening!  Praise! Of course, the pump came out on Thursday, and that always helps the nausea a bit. 
My throat is getting worse, just as they said.  It's hard to swallow, and my mouth keeps alternating between being too dry, and having too much mucus. (Sorry if that's too much information.)  My hands are becoming more and more sensitive to cold.  They cramp, sting and ache.  My feet sometimes react to cold, also. The nausea continues, as always.  Once again, I would never want any of you to think I am complaining. I could be so much worse. It's just that I had no idea what chemo patients went through, and I feel it would help you to know what is involved, and also how to pray.  I know this journey has been such a learning time for me as I have seen others go through chemo.  I praise the Father for each new day.  Thank you for praying for me!

"Don't wait for God to answer your prayers. The purpose of prayer is not to get answers, but to get to know God! Every answer to prayer will be followed by other requests. We think: “If this or that would just happen, then I’d be fulfilled.” Yet, even miracles will leave you dissatisfied if you don’t turn your attention back to God. It’s a great seduction! I fell into it for years. Only one out of the ten lepers Jesus healed came back to thank Him. (Luke 17:17–18) Nine out of ten never looked back. Don't obsess over what you don’t have; rejoice in every morsel God provides, and more will come. He’s a loving Father who promises to give us everything we need."
Francis Anfuso

Chemo Continues - Part Five

Last Tuesday's treatment was mostly routine.  The chemo began and ended well.  This time, they started a stronger nausea medicine in the IV before they finished the chemo and put the pump in.  That medication really helped me to not be as nauseated as in the past!  Praise!  I am now struggling with the hand neuropathy.  I tried to make my own turkey sandwich a few minutes ago, but had to have help because it was cold.  I'm learning to use the gloves every time I get in the fridge, not just sometimes like I used to. (They're garden gloves that a sweet friend gave me who has been through this.) My legs cramped quite a bit this time.  I have now developed a metallic taste in my mouth.  I have been warned and expected all of these side effects, it's just one more thing to adjust to!  All this could be so much worse.  I truly praise the Father for sustaining me through this journey.  You know this was FIVE down, and SEVEN to go!  I'm almost halfway there! 

"God has a divine purpose for every challenge that comes into our lives. Trials test our character and help shape our faith."

"He only is my Rock and my Salvation; He is my Defense and my Fortress, I shall not be moved." - Psalm 62:6

Chemo - Part Four

This session was not as "nauseating" as the third one.  When I explained to the doctor how the third chemo treatment had gone, he gave me a very powerful nausea medication.  I really don't remember the day I was at the cancer center or the day after.  I was totally out!  That was good in a lot of ways - no pain, I just slept through everything!  It really was better to be sleeping than vomiting.  Each time my throat takes a little longer to feel "normal" again.  Swallowing is an experience!  The neuropathy in my hands has gotten worse - now when I accidentally touch anything cold, it's like a shock or a sting...very strange.  I have to put gloves on if I want to get in the fridge.  I want you to understand that I am not complaining about any of this.  I am writing this so you can understand and know how to pray.  I could be SO much worse!!  I am thankful to the Father for all He has done, and all I am learning on this journey!  I am one third of the way through!!

"I do not know your trials or your frustrations, beloved. I can't know what might be troubling you or making you anxious. But God knows those things. What you don't understand, what you feel unable to cope with can be overcome moment by moment if you will live by faith and walk in communion with Him. When you do so, you'll find yourself able to declare with Habbakkuk, "The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds' feet, and makes me walk on my high places. Habakkuk 3:19. When you doubt, when iniquity abounds, when you want to question God, there are two things you need to do. First, run immediately into the ever-open arms of your omnipotent, sovereign Father. In faith, fling yourself into all that He is, into all that He has said. Do not attempt to handle life in your own strength. Instead, live by faith.
Second, rejoice in Him. In a sense, rejoicing activates your faith. When you fling yourself in faith into all that God is and into all His Word says, when you rejoice in Him in the face of every circumstance, then you'll know His strength. It's a strength that will enable you to walk with hinds' feet of faith on high places. Hinds' feet do not slip.
So exult in the Lord, beloved. Rejoice in the God of your salvation. Remember, He is able to deliver you from and through--any difficulty of life. He will be your strength and give you hinds' feet on high places.
Father, You are my strength, the One in whom I trust. Direct my footsteps today. Keep me from slipping or stumbling. Help me to live by faith as I walk in sweet fellowship with You. In Jesus Name, Amen."
Kay Arthur

Chemo - Part Three

I apologize that it's taken me a while to write something.  I've been a little busy being nauseated.  Well, I think they lied!! I'm sure they didn't mean to lie when they said the side effects are worse than the nausea.  I'm sure that's true with other people.  Just not me - just not after the third treatment.  You know that feeling when you're REALLY sick and you've already vomited all there is in your stomach, then your stomach can't get the message to your throat that there's nothing left....well, you get the picture. I don't want to make you have to run to the bathroom.  :)  That was my world for six days straight after chemo part three.  This week has been better, I have been able to eat.  I don't care for the fact I'm getting weaker.  I can't carry my granddaughter around.  That's a bummer.  Thankfully, I can still sit and hold her.  But I am truly blessed.  I have such caring, loving family and friends around me.  Most of all, I have their prayers lifting me up daily.  I absolutely could not do without that!!  Tomorrow will be the fourth chemo treatment, then I will be one third of the way through this journey!!  Yay!!  That will be four down and eight to go!!  I can do this!!

Chemo - Part Deux

SIDE EFFECTS!?!  I'll get to that in a minute.  This chemo/visit went very smooth.  I waited a short while before the blood test to make sure I could take the chemo.  Again, as I sat there, I was struck by the words swirling around me - terminal, inoperable, a dad on the phone with his son telling him the cancer had returned, all such sad words.  I just prayed for those people.  Then they called me back to talk with the doctor.  He said my blood work looked good, so we could proceed.  Then he made a statement, "The side effects of this regimen are considerably more and will probably bother you more than the nausea."  Okay, I was ready - all prayed up and had a ton of people praying for me!  I was then called back to the chemo area.  The nurses there are so precious and caring!  I got all settled into my "nest" with my books and phone, I even watched TV for awhile.  When I took out the Build-a-bear Braedyn and Baecca made for me, the nurse loved it and had to show all the other nurses.  When you squeeze his paw, it's Braedyn's voice recorded saying, "I love you, Nana!"  It goes with me to every treatment.  Everything went well, and it took about 3 hours.  Then they put the pump in for the second medication for me to wear home for 2 days.  I was fine for about 2 hours.  Then the side effects hit!  My legs began to feel like they were covered with bugs.  You know when your legs go to sleep and that tingling when they wake up?  It was like that magnified 10 times!  Then it spread to all my body below the waist and my hands!  This comes and goes, but after a rough night of pain in my legs, I still can't sit up in a chair without my legs tingling!  The worst part is when I swallow.  My esophagus is hurting and making it feel like I'm swallowing sand and grit!  He said these side effects would go away after about two days.  I'm so thankful it's only these kinds of side effects!  They could be so much worse!!  Thank you for thoughts and prayers! I'm blessed!!     

Chemotherapy - Part One

Well, I have come out of the "chemo coma" - that's what I'm calling the first chemo experience.  This is how it went.  On Monday morning at 6:00 am, Wilson and I arrived at Texoma Medical Center to start this adventure.  The surgery to place the port to administer the medication had to begin with an IV, of course.  The nurse had a difficult time finding my veins, as always, and found one on the inside of my right wrist.  She hit a nerve, and my hand kept going numb - uncomfortable to say the least.  The surgery went well, and then I was supposed to go up to a room to begin the chemo.  But, the person in charge told us we needed to go to the Cancer Center, so we did.  When we got to the Cancer Center, they sent us to the oncology clinic, and they sent us right back to the hospital!  The nurses on the oncology floor couldn't believe I walked in to the floor, they expected me to be wheeled in.  By now, it was about 9:30 am.  The nurse got me all comfy in the hospital bed to begin the chemo.  The pharmacist had to do some testing on my blood before the first regimen of chemo could be given.  Finally, at 2:30 pm, they started the chemo into the port.  This was a very long, drawn out process. The medicine was very nauseating and strong.  Wilson aptly called the process "wicked". They finally finished the procedure at 10:30 pm.  Because the process finished so late, I had to wait until the next day for the pump to be put in with the next medication.  We went in at 8:30 the next morning to get the pump placed.  That medication ran until Thursday morning.  I truly felt all the prayers and am confident I could not have made it without them. Now I know what to expect next time, and that helps so much!  With all the prayers, I know I will have the strength to fight this! 

Port placement

Today the nurse called from the doctor's office and told me they were going to put the port for the chemo in at 6:00 AM on Monday, April 18, followed by the first dose of chemo.  After that, I go to the cancer center and get the pump put in for the second dose of medicine over a course of three days while wearing the very cute and stylish "fanny pack".  Monday is Wilson's birthday.  Bless his heart.  He gets to spend it running me back and forth.

The Plan of Attack!

This day has never really left the back of my mind since I found out I had cancer and the appointment was made - the very first oncology visit.  I knew a lot of people had prayed over this day, and I truly felt a "peace that passes all understanding".  I also knew I wanted a visual promise that I could look at and feel His presence.  I put on my "Mamma Honey's" mother's ring. (My aunt had kept it since my grandmother had died, and had given it to me this past Christmas - such a precious gift!)  I don't wear it every day because I don't want to lose it.  Mamma Honey was my maternal grandmother.  One of her pastors named her the "resident saint of Dorchester Baptist Church".  That tells you a little about the Godly wisdom and pure love of the Lord that my grandmother lived every day of her life.  She truly was a person I dearly loved and respected.  Such a treasure!  The ring on my finger helped me feel her arms around me and also feel the love and prayers of my precious family and friends.

Wilson and I got to the doctor's office early.  And, of course, we had to  talk to the financial secretary about the cost of procedures, drugs, etc.  I have no insurance, and we had no idea of the cost of everything.  She told us the particular chemo I would be taking would be provided by the drug company at no cost to us!  What an answer to prayer.  She is also working on help for all the rest of the expenses.

As we sat in that waiting room, I was struck with the sadness around me.  People were talking about carcinomas and melanomas and being told they wouldn't live very long - their cancer was too far along.  I sat there and just thanked God that He was in control.

We weren't there long until we were talking to the oncologist about the "regimen" I would be on.  The surgeon will put a port in my chest, and on Monday I will have the first of the 24 chemo treatments.  It takes about 2 hours to put the drug in, then I get to wear a pump for two days, like a fanny pack. :)  Then the pump is taken out.  This procedure happens every two weeks.  This is the best course of action for me, and it has the best success rate of the cancer not returning.

He drew a diagram and showed us what they did in the surgery.  He said my cancer was very "low grade".  He then made a statement that kind of gave me chills.  He told us that it is VERY rare, but he believes from all the pathology reports, that my cancer caused the appendicitis.  He said that just rarely ever happened!  That was another confirmation from the Father - He is in control!!

Thank you for praying me through this first day.  I truly feel every one of your prayers and appreciate them so much!  Keep them coming!  :)

The "C" Word...the beginning

"I lift my eyes up to the mountains. Where does my help come from? It comes from you, Lord! You are the Maker of Earth and Heaven. And there is NOTHING that's too hard for you Lord. Lord, I run to you!" I love singing that song in choir because that particular verse in scripture was one of my mother's and grandmother's favorite verses to quote. I love the imagery it puts in your head when you recite it! The lifting up of your eyes, the expectancy, the yearning, the promises, the FAITH!

I have just begun a new faith journey. That's what I'm calling it. I have Stage 3 Colon Cancer, but it will be a journey of faith as God shows Himself strong!

On March 13, 2011 I awoke with a sharp pain in my right side. I just downplayed the pain and went on my merry way to church, then to work and other activities all week. By the time Friday came, the pain was really intense and I was running a fever. It was the last day of Spring Break and my sweet girls and precious grand babies and I were supposed to go to the zoo. Instead, I went to the zoo they call the hospital emergency room. After a few tests, they decided I had appendicitis, and needed an appendectomy. But when the surgeon came in, he wasn't as sure as the emergency room doctor. The surgeon told me he couldn't be certain about the diagnosis until he "got in there". So, my family was told the surgery would take about an hour. Five hours later, I awoke in the recovery room and the nurse told me the surgery was over. That first night was a blur of pain and morphine.

The next morning, Wilson was very quiet and serious (not his usual self), and told me he needed to tell me something. He then explained that when the surgeon began the procedure, I did have appendicitis. But, he also found cancer in my colon and small intestine and had to remove a section of each and restructure them both. We were both in shock. There were so many unanswered questions. We just sat there and stared at each other. I remember Wilson had opened the blinds in my room because I wanted to see the sunshine . My room was on the sixth floor. I literally lifted my eyes up and there straight out my window in some trees was a beautiful church steeple! I knew the Father was there and He was taking care of us. We cried and prayed and gave all this stuff to the Lord.

We had to wait two days to find out if the surgeon had gotten all the cancer. The oncologist came in on Monday morning and told us they had gotten all the cancer in the colon and small intestine, but it had spread to one little lymph node. So, because it is in one lymph node, they have to label it Stage 3 Colon Cancer. He then explained I would have to take chemo, but would be able to take it in pill form. Also, it should only take one round of chemo to kill the cancer cells. The Father blessed me with so many wonderful nurses during my hospital stay, one of them even prayed with me as she took my blood! Our wonderful friends have ministered to our family in so many different ways - we are truly blessed. Another chapter will begin as I begin chemo - I go to the oncologist next week.

I wanted to blog this journey so the Father would get all the glory and my faith would grow. I pray it will grow others and draw all of us closer to Him.